# Agree the rules before the draw

Lesson 1 of [Organize a Secret Santa or white elephant exchange](https://giftideas.fyi/academy/organize-a-gift-exchange.md), 12 minutes.

Most arguments at a gift exchange come from a rule that nobody agreed in advance. Decide the rules, put them in the invitation, and the event runs more easily.

## The spend limit

State one number. Say if it is a cap or a target. Say if wrapping and postage count toward it. For example: $25, wrapping included. One clear number reads better than a vague range.

## Who is in

Fix the list at the draw. A late joiner breaks a Secret Santa pairing. Invite them next year, or let them organize a side swap.

## The ground rules

Say if homemade gifts, gift cards and consumables are allowed. For white elephant, also say if gifts are new or used, and if the theme is genuinely wanted or deliberately silly. Guests plan to what you write down.

## The reveal

For Secret Santa, most groups open gifts together. Then either people guess the giver, or the givers say who they are at the end. Pick one.

## Dropouts

Agree in advance that a person who drops out after the draw still sends their gift.

## The stealing rule

For white elephant, pick one stealing variant and name it in the invitation. Lesson 3 explains the variants.

## Sources

- Gift Ideas guide, Secret Santa rules and etiquette (/guides/secret-santa-rules-and-etiquette)
- Gift Ideas guide, How to run a white elephant exchange (/guides/how-to-run-a-white-elephant-exchange)

Also on the [web page](https://giftideas.fyi/academy/organize-a-gift-exchange/agree-the-rules-first).